Leadership 101


A year ago today no one had even the slightest inclination we’d be where we are today. The thought of Donald Trump becoming the Republican nominee was a joke we all laughed fairly heartily at, knowing that even if this was the case, he’d never win the presidency and become our Commander-In-Chief. Not a chance. Well, we sure as hell were wrong. So here we are, 365 days later, actually discussing whether alt-right fanboy Milo Yiannopoulos’ comments on pedophilia were wrong. As if they couldn’t be.

Post-election I was ready to accept the outcome of the election. I wasn’t #resist-ing. I wasn’t a sobbing snowflake, like so many of the right want you to believe. I sighed, I vomited and I learned, between 3 a.m. and 8 a.m. to accept it. I was “giving him a chance,” as they all requested. I wanted to believe that, despite the total and utter horseshit we saw over the course of the election, that he would be able to act accordingly. Again – So. Fucking. Wrong.  

Donald Trump’s spent the last four weeks making a total fucking mockery of the Oval Office and, quite frankly, the United States government. Somebody forgot to leash this pit bull and we’ve all watched with bated breath and bitten tongues as he’s tweeted his way right back into the garbage heap from whence he came. Some appreciate this asshole’s methods. “He’s telling it like it is,” I’m still hearing. He’s not telling it like it is, he’s being a prick and it doesn’t take a genius to be a prick. Hell, I fight against it everyday. We’re expected to NOT be pricks; it’s part of basic human decency.

He’s the guy who cuts you off in traffic and then gives YOU the finger for inconveniencing him enough to have to scowl more than usual. He’s the asshole that throws you under the bus in a staff meeting, claiming ignorance when he knowns damn well you discussed it with him before the meeting. He the old guy who steals your newspaper, assuming it’s his because he’s the only motherfucker in the world that matters. He’s the dog that shits on your lawn on a hot Houston morning, ensuring that you can smell in inside even with the door closed. He’s everything that’s not really ironic in the Alanis Morissette song, “Ironic.” He’s a brand new box of cereal that you picked out when you were a kid chock full of boll weevils. He’s the post-T-Bell liquid shit you knew you’d end up taking but were tempted to go for that fourth meal anyway.*

Sure, it’s not uncharacteristic for a billionaire to act like a fucking dick. Isn’t that why you make money; to feel superior and treat the common peasants as such? But this particular fucking dick won the office of the President. You can’t act like that and hold any real job, right? How would Willie from the office get away with this bullshit?

Picture it. Monday morning sales meeting. Conference room. 20 soulless vultures, squeezing the lives out of office resources (i.e. humans they devalue because … money, bitch!)

 “Sharon blew that lead for us! DISASTER!”

“Bill applied for my job and didn’t get it. TOTAL EMBARASSMENT! #nobonusforlosers”

“Regional sales are down 8% in Q!? FAKE NEWS!”

Willie from the office wouldn’t have a fucking job on Tuesday. But because this asshat has bank accounts the size of his ego and bought his job, (you’ll never convince me otherwise) he can say whatever he wants?

I won’t reference Barack Obama and how motherfucking classy I found him to be. I won’t compare the two and ask that the temperament of the President mimic that of our former leader because it only gives ammunition for right-wingers to bring up the minute failure in Obamacare and other shit that doesn’t matter.

But Willie from the office can’t lead the regional sales team if he’s going to be a condescending, discriminatory, insulting liar. Without the respect of those you lead, you lack buy-in and you’ll flounder as a leader. You’ll continuously face mutiny – large and small. And that makes for a poor leader. And Willie would be filing for unemployment or facing an early retirement that he’s unprepared for.

Let’s hold our country’s leader to the same standards as someone who makes base pay of $50,000 a year with the possibility of disappointing, albeit necessary for survival commission bonuses. Shouldn’t the U.S. president have the same public, private and social demeanor that any average Joe would have to maintain to continue being gainfully employed? Whether you’re an R or a D and whether you’d identify as a Trump supporter or not – you have to admit there’s something very wrong with our leader trying to defy the rules of leadership. What do you think?

* Not really. I fucking love T-bell. Uno mas Gorditas, Puto!


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