Watching April

april4I had a million things to do today. I needed to drive across Houston and up the worst highway in town, 290, to pick of my license plates for my new car. I needed to run to Party City. I needed to pick up my contacts from the eye doctor that have been in since Christmas. I needed to clean and to wash the mounds of laundry I have separated into piles on my floor that look like we’re just vile hoarders. I had REAL shit to do.

But instead – I’ve been consumed with watching a giraffe in labor. Me and more than 35,000 other people have been squandering our day and waiting for friggin’ April to give birth.

And today I learned that even something as innocent as watching April shit out another baby can get nasty. In one screenshot I caught one person claiming that a mom is “relying on the internet to teach [her] kids.” Some even made it political.



What the fuck? It’s a giraffe having a calf (is it called a calf? I just made that up) and some of the 35,000 people watching are blaming political preference? We’ve all been waiting forever probably because April insisted on a home birth. Where’s her doula now?

Hang in there, April. We’re all going through it right now.

Is anyone else obsessed with this? If April gives birth while I’m on the way to drop my daughter off at dance, I’m going to be pissed!

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