Six Ways Your Body Tells You You’re Getting Old

Ways to Know You're Getting Old

While we all may feel like we’re mentally 22, the truth is that I and many of my peers are pushing 40. With this age comes some great realizations. You suddenly become unashamed of farting in public or asking to speak to the manager. You get angry when your waiter doesn’t bring the bread to the table right away because …

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Fat Girl Secrets and The D-Word

I’m going to let you in on a little secret from the Big Books of Secrets of Fat Girls: we’re not all wallowing in low self-esteem every day. I know this probably comes as a shock to you because we’re supposed to be. We’re supposed to hate ourselves and our worthless bodies but this isn’t always the case. We aren’t …

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Mansplaining How To Be A Good Mom And Other Judgments

Mansplaining

Writing for all of the world to see these past two months – Wait? It’s not all of the world? I’m being hyperbolic and there’s really only about 250 people reading my shit on a good day? OK, writing for ANYONE to read these past two months – I’ve opened myself up for judgment and ridicule. Most people have been …

Electronics and Eyerolls: Why Screen Time is a Good Thing

Screen Time is a Good Thing

Out of every generation of parents, some key rhetoric is born. It’s the one thing that pretentious parents complain about, demonizing some aspect of the world in “defense” of the generation they’re raising. It’s the popular helicopter parenting cause, for which mothers everywhere are falling on their swords. And suburban moms are the worst. Our generation, of course, is no …

Our Girls and The Princess Complex

Our Girls and the Princess Complex

I’m a feminist through and through but when I was pregnant with my daughter, I made a vow to myself. I swore that I would not impress my views upon my child. I wouldn’t force her to wear yellow and green instead of pink (or blue, I guess). I wouldn’t buy her all gender neutral toys instead of Barbies and …

The Best Homework Hack For Parents

Homework Hack for Parents

If you’re the parent of a school-age child, you’ve undoubtedly sat at the kitchen table for at least an hour trying to tackle homework until either you and/or your child is in tears. It’s almost a right of passage. You threaten, you yell and you travel through the stages of grief; it’s shit for the birds all around. Let’s face …

Why I Left The Classroom

Why I Left The Classroom

Note: The following is a guest post by former teacher Cindi Wood in response to Why Good Teachers Are Leaving Education. I taught for 23 years before throwing in the towel. Not 3 or 5 years, like the usual quitters. I didn’t just wake up and quit one day. It was well-planned and thought out. I stumbled onto teaching for …

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Why Good Teachers Are Leaving Education

Why Good Teachers Are Leaving Education

Do you remember watching the first few seasons of MTV’s The Real World in the 90s? Well it’s time to “stop being polite and start getting real” about education. You may think this doesn’t really apply to you because you’re not a teacher but there’s where you’re wrong, my friends. It’s important the other parents know the perils of this …

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Six Suburban Trends That Need To Go

Inappropriate Suburbanite

Living in the suburbs and what I’d call a fairly affluent area (compared to where I grew up, I guess) there exists certain burgeoning trends that have exploded onto our well-manicured lawns and, well, make me want to blow my fucking brains out. It’s high time someone addressed these trends and suggested places you could, possibly, shove them. Among some …

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RIP High School Reunions

High School Reunions

At the end of May it will officially be twenty years since I graduated from high school. High School was not altogether an unpleasurable experience for me. I had a few friends, I got my driver’s license, and I learned the all-important “beer before liquor, never been sicker; Liquor before beer, you’re in the clear” rule. I’d say I had an average high school experience.